THE MICROWAVE RELATIONSHIPS
Been thinking a lot about priorities over the last several weeks. I mean a lot! You know, what truly is important to me and my life. There is no doubt that humans are created for community and relationships.
Yet how often have we said any of the following:
"Let's get together for lunch some day soon." OR "Let's make sure we hang out when things begin to slow down." OR "I'm going to plug into a small group when I have more time."
We are trying to create relationships on a 21st century scale. You know, everything is instant gratification. It's all at our finger tips and that won't work. The biggest problem facing relationships is just simply the pace of life. Relationally smart people realize that you can not microwave friendships.
You can not microwave the things it takes for great relationships. You can not listen in a hurry. You can not celebrate in hurry. You can not mourn in a hurry.
Furthermore, to build and create relationships it will take time and energy. Not just one but both. Relationships are not done quickly. You can not connect with people during a two minute cell phone conversation in your car going from one appointment to the next. To be in a conversation that feels awkward and uncomfortable and requires risks takes time and effort because that what's it going to take to grow deeper in relationships.
What if people really slowed down and made commitments to people? I mean real commitments and not just this - "I finally have time now for you, so let's hang out." If you think you can be committed to some one with an over burden schedule then think again. People will prioritize their schedule for their jobs, school, accomplishments, shopping and let's be really serious here - church activity, but when it comes to what matters most (and what matters most IS relationships) it gets pushed aside. You can not just fit your relationships in the cracks of your schedule.
I applaud anyone who has committed themselves to community and relationships. Really, I do! Imagine what would happen if more people would do this and not just microwave our relationships. Because we ARE created for community.
Yet how often have we said any of the following:
"Let's get together for lunch some day soon." OR "Let's make sure we hang out when things begin to slow down." OR "I'm going to plug into a small group when I have more time."
We are trying to create relationships on a 21st century scale. You know, everything is instant gratification. It's all at our finger tips and that won't work. The biggest problem facing relationships is just simply the pace of life. Relationally smart people realize that you can not microwave friendships.
You can not microwave the things it takes for great relationships. You can not listen in a hurry. You can not celebrate in hurry. You can not mourn in a hurry.
Furthermore, to build and create relationships it will take time and energy. Not just one but both. Relationships are not done quickly. You can not connect with people during a two minute cell phone conversation in your car going from one appointment to the next. To be in a conversation that feels awkward and uncomfortable and requires risks takes time and effort because that what's it going to take to grow deeper in relationships.
What if people really slowed down and made commitments to people? I mean real commitments and not just this - "I finally have time now for you, so let's hang out." If you think you can be committed to some one with an over burden schedule then think again. People will prioritize their schedule for their jobs, school, accomplishments, shopping and let's be really serious here - church activity, but when it comes to what matters most (and what matters most IS relationships) it gets pushed aside. You can not just fit your relationships in the cracks of your schedule.
I applaud anyone who has committed themselves to community and relationships. Really, I do! Imagine what would happen if more people would do this and not just microwave our relationships. Because we ARE created for community.
posted by Stephen Hinkel at
10:07 PM
1 Comments:
Awesome awesome, that is so so true and I used to be one of those people that said let's do this or that when we get some more time. I remember what it was that made me change my ways and try very very hard to stop doing that...my mom called me a stranger and said it was very apparent that I had no desire to spend time with my family...wow wow, this was a little over 2 months ago now and let me tell you things have changed...I am home a lot more often and I spend a lot more time with my family and close friends. I never ever felt that way about my family but I was squeezing them in between Church, work, and friends, some which weren't really friends and weren't worth the time but I didn't see that at the time. I can't tell you how important it is to show your love or commitment to those that mean something to you. We shouldn't waste our time trying to fill in the gaps, if we priortize our schedules we will find that there are no gaps...there is a somewhat perfect balance, again I believe this goes back to listening to God and living for Him. When my mom made those comments to me that was such a God thing, it was God telling me to stop and take a look around me and see who my true friends are and to take an inventory of how I was spending my time. Whether it be with family or friends you can not microwave a relationship it does take time but time is the one of the most valuable gifts you could ever give anyone...it is something you never get back so think about that next time you make plans with someone, make sure you aren't just filling in the gaps.
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Sarah B, at 12:47 PM
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